The Truth About Anger
If you think back to your childhood, what messages were you given about the emotion of anger? No doubt you felt it and expressed it. As children do. They are uniquely gifted at letting their raw humanity and true selves out into the world. However, as children grow, it is the direct response that children receive from the world around them that begins to shape how they allow certain emotions and behaviors to be seen. By our teenage years, we are much more likely to wear our masks tightly around us. To hide certain emotions from others and even ourselves. To often pretend we don’t feel certain emotions or perhaps push them away, avoid them, etc.
Anger is one of the most commonly avoided emotions. Understandably, as it can seem dangerous. And it can be dangerous. As humans, survival is our top most priority. So if we’ve seen dangerous behaviors connected to the emotion of anger, we will naturally associate it with being “bad” or negative. On the other side of that coin are moments when we have allowed ourselves to react in anger (as in our childhood) and had a negative consequence. Maybe a terrible out-of-control feeling or even so far as harming another person. Not to mention cultural perspectives and parental guidance. Phrases like, “Don’t be angry” that root down and bury themselves inside us.
But what if I told you that anger was a magical emotion. Not to be feared and not “bad,” but instead to be highly regarded as super intelligent! Maybe even one of our most intelligent emotions. But with this magic and intelligence, comes responsibility. Because it is a strong emotion, we do need some awareness around it in order to not let it consume us, or take over our behaviors.
Being responsible for an emotion means paying attention. Like a parent who is responsible for a child, they have to pay attention to that child so he/she doesn’t get into trouble. Same thing with our emotions. If we neglect them and not pay attention, they become unruly and out of our control. But if we give them the nurturance and the attention they need, we suddenly become the in-control parent of our emotions.
The reason anger is magical is because it is our protector emotion. It is the survival emotion that constantly keeps us on our toes and safe. Without anger in all its forms; frustration, irritation, annoyance, rage, contempt, envy, etc., we would never know if something bothered us. We would never know if something was wrong. It is instinct at its finest. And if we are hurt, anger tells us we need to change something to not be hurt again. How amazing is it that we have these instincts and emotions to help us thrive! Maybe, where we go wrong, is by persecuting, condemning, and neglecting our emotions.
At the end of the day we are simply humans moving through the world with our own inner workings of magical intelligence; our very fascinating brains that create very fascinating emotions. It is the act of listening and paying attention to emotions, especially anger, that will set you free.
